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Jessica Curry is the co-founder of The Chinese Room. In addition to helping found the studio that created Dear Esther, Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs, and Everybody's Gone to the Rapture, she also served as the studio's lead composer.Today, she announced that she's (sort of) leaving The Chinese Room. The announcement comes alongside some other insightful remarks that range from negative experiences working with a major publisher, how the industry thinks less of women and their ideas, and much more.
Curry says that while she will remain on as a director for The Chinese Room and will probably keep composing music for the studio, she feels as though she needs to branch out a bit. She even mentions how she already has a "large-scale music project" lined up with Carol Ann Duffy. She also still has an office at the studio, where she works alongside her husband and another studio co-founder, Dan Pinchbeck.
As Everybody's Gone to the Rapture was the first major console release for the studio, it seems only fitting that Curry touched upon the subject of some of her personal experiences dealing with a publishing giant. While Curry never explicitly states that the publisher in question is Sony it could be inferred given that the remarks are made alongside talk of Everybody's Gone to the Rapture. Despite the enormous praise the game received (just so happens that I loved it), Curry found that simply making the game was incredibly difficult.
"Working with a publisher made me extremely unhappy and very ill. In the end I didn’t even recognize myself anymore- I had turned from a joyful, fun-loving, creative, silly, funny person into a short-tempered, paranoid, unhappy, negative heap. So much of the stress that I experienced was caused by what I see as the desperately toxic relationship that I was in."
Curry continues on to say that the "way we were treated and it still makes me shake my head with disbelief." She remarks that the partnership between big business and the creation of art "have always been extremely uncomfortable bedfellows."
"I don’t want to do this anymore- in fact I can’t do it. I want to surround myself with honest, open people whom I can trust. I’ve heard so many people say, “well, this is just the way publishers are” and “this is just what the games industry is like.” What I would say to that is while we all keep accepting this, while we are so afraid to challenge this behaviour then it won’t change and we all deserve nothing but the meager crumbs we are thrown."
She continues on to say that this is all a symptom of a larger problem within the industry.
"I thought I was strong enough to lead the charge, to prove through talent and hard work and positivity that women have a vital role to play. Well, as tough as this is to admit to both myself and to you lot this is one fight that I’m personally not going to win. I leave it to people younger and fitter than me to carry on this crusade. On a personal level I look back at my huge contribution to the games that we’ve made and I have had to watch Dan get the credit time and time again. I’ve had journalists assuming I’m Dan’s PA, I have been referenced as “Dan Pinchbeck’s wife” in articles, publishers on first meeting have automatically assumed that my producer is my boss just because he’s a man, one magazine would only feature Dan as Studio Head and wouldn’t include me. When Dan has said “Jess is the brains of the operation” people have knowingly chuckled and cooed that it’s nice of a husband to be so kind about his wife. I don’t have enough paper to write down all of the indignities that I’ve faced."
Even credit for the idea behind Everybody's Gone to the Rapture is often attributed to the wrong person at The Chinese Room.
"Last year I had a beautiful idea for Rapture. Dan went to LA and while he was there he told Sony about it. When he returned I said “what did they think of my idea?” He admitted that he’d ascribed the idea to one of our team members, not me. He was genuinely bewildered by my anger and asked “but why does it matter who gets the credit?” My reply: “It only doesn’t matter who gets the credit when you’re the person who always gets the credit!” There is a famous quote that behind every successful man there is a strong woman. Well sod that. I’ve realized that the only way I’m going to get credit for the work that I do is if I take a step away from Dan."
She says she still loves Dan though, saying that he is a "talented, intelligent, shining-souled man."
Curry notes that a big part of why she's making the decision to branch out has a lot to do with her health. She has an unspecified degenerative disease that there is no cure for.
"A couple of years ago my doctor said to me “if you try to fight this disease it will win” and I nodded like a good girl but actually at the time I just didn’t get it. Having a progressive illness is not like cancer, or a stroke or a heart attack. People are left at a loss because they can’t proclaim, “you’ll beat this thing” or “you will get better” and they can’t tell you to just “whoop its ass.” I am going to get worse- that’s a simple fact and no amount of medication, wheatgrass, mindfulness, positive thinking or acupuncture is going to change that. The doctor wasn’t being negative, just honest."
Believing that if she did nothing but focus on Everybody's Gone to the Rapture she could mentally keep the disease at bay. Unfortunately, that simply wasn't the case. She says that she became very ill in June to the point that she felt as though she "was going to be brought home in a coffin." This episode led her to reevaluate what she wanted to do with her life and the effect that her ignoring her well being would have on her husband and son.
Curry ends her blog entry with a bit of a positive note and some words of wisdom to share.
"(D)o what makes you happy. People often ask me (with a tinge of annoyance at times) why I’m so cheerful, silly, full of mischief, always laughing. Well, one thing that you learn when you are degenerating (as we all are I suppose, some just more quickly than others) is to make the very best of every single day. To see the beauty, the ridiculousness, the wonder, the hope, the sadness, the sheer magnificence of the world around us. I exhort you to laugh, love and really live."
Editor's note: Jessica Curry has been a constant source of enjoyment for me. Her musical compositions in her games have been my favorite pieces of video game audio ever since I first played Dear Esther. These are obviously just the cherries on top of some fantastic games she created with her time at The Chinese Room. I wish her the best of luck in her future endeavors and I cannot wait to see what she creates in the years to come both with The Chinese Room and elsewhere.
