Soldier Wins! Team Fortress 2 War Update is Live!

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  • Shawn Zipay
    Managing Communities 24/7
    • Apr 2003
    • 69072

    #1

    Soldier Wins! Team Fortress 2 War Update is Live!

    The Team Fortress 2 update is now live! To go along with the new update comes word that the Soldier has won the great TF2 War! Behold the Gunboats, ctf_doublecross and cp_gorge!

    The 18th century was a time of rapid innovation; in the space of a single year, the two-storey building, the stage play, America, and the rocket launcher were all invented by the same man: Shakespearicles, the strongest writer who ever lived. Despite his powerful grasp of language and the ability to bench press 700 British pounds, several inventions eluded his iron grip—most tragically among them, stairs. For the next three hundred years, people who needed to get to the second floor used the only method available to them: shooting a rocket launcher at their feet. Yes, it was ridiculous, crippling, and awful, but what are you going to do? Not go to the second floor? That’s where your bed is.

    Luckily, in 1857, a young bearded inventor named President Abraham Lincoln stumbled upon the answer: stairs. Unluckily, he never grasped the full import of his own invention, and died attempting to rocket jump up the world’s first staircase in his laboratory at Ford’s Theater. Horrified by this tragedy, mankind agreed never to invent anything again, turning its many scientists and scholars to that most noble endeavor, astrology.

    It would not be until 1921 when hotheaded Pisces Franklin D Roosevelt, languishing in a hospital after losing both of his legs in a rocket-jumping accident, stumbled upon Lincoln’s notes and perfected the modern staircase, freeing people from the tyranny of the second floor as Lincoln intended.

    No advancement has been made in the escalation sciences since… until now. Introducing the Gunboats, secondary-slot boots that reduce rocket jump damage by a huge amount, rendering stairs forever useless. What is the science behind these miracles of technology? Magic, probably.

    Get to playing, the update is now live!<!--more-->
    Gorge
    Cp_gorge is a top secret alpine facility diabolically masquerading as something else entirely: in this case, a sinister weapons factory disguised as an innocent water purification plant, and a large-ish hole not big enough to meet the U.S. Geological Survey’s standards for a gorge, disguised as a by-the-book, nothing-to-see-here gorge.

    Cp_gorge is an attack/defense map with only two control points, designed for quick rounds and fast, frantic play and fast, frantic play. It has more lateral game space than previous Control Point maps, allowing for more maneuvering options.

    Doublecross
    In the middle of the night, two bridges span a bottomless chasm of certain doom. (Said bridges span the chasm in the day also, but the gate is locked.) Secret bases concealed behind the unassuming facades of a factory and a farm built next door to each other fool absolutely no one in the area, who sometimes gather around to "watch all them mercenaries fight over that spy base."

    Doublecross is a fast-paced map that promises a lot of turnaround, with fighting focused on the main bridge and plenty of ways to fall off of it (or cause others to). The secondary train bridge below is perfect for sneakier classes, and provides a number of secret tunnels.

  • Kodakk
    Member
    • Oct 2006
    • 3486

    #2
    Re: Soldier Wins! Team Fortress 2 War Update is Live!

    Boots! Boots! :awes

    Comment

    • Yukiism
      Senior Member
      • Nov 2006
      • 1578

      #3
      Re: Soldier Wins! Team Fortress 2 War Update is Live!

      Those boots are mine! You scottish cyclops!!!

      Comment

      • RYKUU
        Member
        • Dec 2006
        • 2352

        #4
        Re: Soldier Wins! Team Fortress 2 War Update is Live!

        So what exactly do the boots do?

        Comment

        • jake_
          Fitter, Happier.
          • Mar 2007
          • 4959

          #5
          Re: Soldier Wins! Team Fortress 2 War Update is Live!

          Originally posted by RYKUU
          So what exactly do the boots do?
          When you rocket jump, damage to yourself is reduced by 75% I love them.

          Comment

          • RYKUU
            Member
            • Dec 2006
            • 2352

            #6
            Re: Soldier Wins! Team Fortress 2 War Update is Live!

            Will we ever see the demo mans item?

            Comment

            • The_Eliminator
              Senior Member
              • Aug 2006
              • 5486

              #7
              Re: Soldier Wins! Team Fortress 2 War Update is Live!

              AWESOME! :awes

              Comment

              • Shawn Zipay
                Managing Communities 24/7
                • Apr 2003
                • 69072

                #8
                Re: Soldier Wins! Team Fortress 2 War Update is Live!

                Originally posted by RYKUU
                Will we ever see the demo mans item?
                It's the boots, same as the soldier. One item, one winner. To the victor of the War went the spoils.

                Comment

                • RYKUU
                  Member
                  • Dec 2006
                  • 2352

                  #9
                  Re: Soldier Wins! Team Fortress 2 War Update is Live!

                  Originally posted by [MyIS]Zips
                  It's the boots, same as the soldier. One item, one winner. To the victor of the War went the spoils.
                  Ah I see, so they would have one the boots too, makes sense.
                  I like how Valve look after their market.

                  Comment

                  • imported_Grudge
                    Member
                    • Jul 2007
                    • 93

                    #10
                    Re: Soldier Wins! Team Fortress 2 War Update is Live!

                    So lame, the soldier is the easiest class, of course it was going to win!!

                    Comment

                    • Yukiism
                      Senior Member
                      • Nov 2006
                      • 1578

                      #11
                      Re: Soldier Wins! Team Fortress 2 War Update is Live!

                      Originally posted by Grudge
                      So lame, the demoman is the easiest class, of course it was going to lose!!
                      Fixed it for ya.

                      Comment

                      • iQue
                        Member
                        • May 2007
                        • 4925

                        #12
                        Re: Soldier Wins! Team Fortress 2 War Update is Live!

                        Holy crap the Equalizer (soldier melee) is freaking awesome. You run close to as fast as a scout when you're around 10 HP. :awes Haven't unlocked the other stuff yet though.

                        Comment

                        • jesus
                          Member
                          • May 2007
                          • 2413

                          #13
                          Re: Soldier Wins! Team Fortress 2 War Update is Live!

                          Originally posted by iQue
                          Holy crap the Equalizer (soldier melee) is freaking awesome. You run close to as fast as a scout when you're around 10 HP. :awes Haven't unlocked the other stuff yet though.
                          And it's really good, too. I love it.

                          Comment

                          • iQue
                            Member
                            • May 2007
                            • 4925

                            #14
                            Re: Soldier Wins! Team Fortress 2 War Update is Live!

                            [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5lHjq7la0M[/media]

                            I love when he starts getting drunk at 2:20

                            Comment

                            • Kodakk
                              Member
                              • Oct 2006
                              • 3486

                              #15
                              Re: Soldier Wins! Team Fortress 2 War Update is Live!

                              Originally posted by iQue
                              Holy crap the Equalizer (soldier melee) is freaking awesome. You run close to as fast as a scout when you're around 10 HP. :awes Haven't unlocked the other stuff yet though.
                              It's great for getting back to health really quickly too. I love it!

                              However, I don't like the direct impact nearly as much as I thought I would.

                              Comment

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