The Amazing World of Counterstrike

[CSN NewsBot]

Psychosis over at SomethingAwful.com has written a very interesting and entertaining guide to CS, called "The Amazing World of Counterstrike." Here's your preview:

Never buy a good weapon. The AW/M sniper rifle, automatic shotgun, MP5 sub machinegun, and any weapons capable of penetrating skin are shunned by all the skilled Counterstrike players. Attacking your enemy from a distance is cheap, attacking your enemy from behind is cheap, and aiming bullets towards an enemy's head will elicit a collective gasp of horror from the entire CS community and their immediate families. The only way to avoid offending the other players is tossing your starting pistol and charging directly at the enemy with a knife, out in the open, without strafing. Of course, you have to announce your presence to the enemy and attack directly from the front while crouching and spinning around in circles, otherwise it's just cheap.

Like it so far? Read the rest here. Thanks to ChickenInaBiskit for the heads-up.

[zeet]

this article is absolutely beautiful.

[eo | andy]

this article is just like all those other tongue-in-cheek articles. been there done that.

[.nap]

AHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAa. WAGAGAgaahahahaha.. LILILKLILILIGAGAGAAJKEJEKEKEKE



Best. Article. Ever. Like, ever.

On the off-chance the target doesn't die of sheer terror, you might have to go through the time-consuming process of pulling the trigger, which will inflict about the same level of damage as getting hit in the eye with an anti-tank missile covered with anthrax

ROFL.

[fl3cht]

The scary thing is, its almost not satire. Its almost true.

[-Jªmes Bºnd-]

fl3cht wrote..

The scary thing is, its almost not satire. Its almost true.

Yea...that's just amazing.

[ChickenInaBiskit]

The rest of that site is great as well. They do a lot of "articles" on the many aspects of gaming.

[Gpig]

That was great.

[r0ady]

Ahh, sweet article



And speaking of amazing things, WON.net has gone down and the CS World is once again in chaos :|

[farmer brown]

Hahahahaha! This is so funny because it's true. When you kill some guy and he says "what a lucky noob shot" and dosen't give you any of the credit but if he kill someone the exact same frickin' way, it's considered skill.

[pinwheel!]

ORGASMIC article. Almost makes me want to play CS again.

[Gpig]

I haven't seen the scholar CS player before but I've seen the rest.

[farmer brown]

This almost made me fell out of my chair:



"Strategy: Make up a random abbreviation like "tpais" and use it regularly. Clanners are terrified of being left behind in the great leetspeak arms race to sound like as much of an idiot as possible, so they'll ask you what it means."

[Jsunu]

Wow this articale is mostly truth.... good old somethingawful.

Rhodes Scholar: He's smarter than you, and he isn't afraid to show it! Every single message that flows from the Rhodes Scholar's keyboard is so chock-full of intelligence and wisdom that the IQ overflow occasionally causes packet loss and server crashes. If another player offends him or says something mean about him, he'll respond by typing out a doctoral thesis on differential calculus, one line at a time. Of course, he'll do this after the round has started and his team has already rushed out to fight the enemy, so he'll get about a third of the way through before an enemy walks into the spawn, shoots him dead and calls him a moron.

Signature move: Sending amazingly well-written and thoughtful chat messages that do not contain any words with less than four syllables.

Strategy: Tell him that trigonometry and algebra are the exact same thing, just with different symbols. After futilely attempting to educate you for a while, he'll throw his keyboard against the wall, dive out the window and run screaming into the woods, never to be seen or heard from again.

:O

[disabled]

the rhodes scholar is mouth or rizzuh, ones that try to scare u with sheer intellegence