Being a Master of Battlefield 2

[TomGazpacho]

I have been playing Battlefield 2: Special Forces quite a bit lately. In order to gain ranks and win medal you have to play online. The online experience differs depending on how your teammates play.

The following list comes from many hours of frustration. I play under the name TomGazpacho. If you see me online, why don't you tell me how much you appreciate these helpful tips.

Yes, I am being sarcastic.

BE A BATTLEFIELD 2 MASTER

1. The Commander Makes a Good Wheelman
   
   Nothing inspires your team more than seeing the commander taking a Sunday drive in a vehicle. Hey, if they really wanted UAV, supplies or artillery, they would ask, right?
   
   
2. Revive Fallen Comrades in Firefights
   
   The medic can revive team member who have been killed. Once you have been revived it takes a second or two to get your bearings. Nothing is funner than being revived in front of the armored tank that just gunned you down.
   
   
3. Exact Revenge! Punish Team Kills
   
   Hey look, there are two guys having a gun battle in the stairwell. Why don't you run in front of your teammate with your gun blazing? Oops, did he get a teamkill for shooting you in the back? Punish him. It's his fault for not ceding the kill to you.
   
   
4. Bring Your Gun to the Knife Fight
   
   Look at the sniper going for a knife kill. It is a perfect time to hose him and his prey down with your PKM. You should take from him all the joy of sticking a knife in a Communist.
   
   
5. Lock Your Squad Down
   
   Squads are for the weak. You are an ubersoldier. Those lamers would just steal your kills. But if you are squad leader, the server won't switch you to the losing team. What should you do? Obviously, start your own squad and lock it so that you and only you are the only squad member. Do it quick before the maximum number of squads is reached on the server.
   
   
6. Take My Ride
   
   I am an engineer repairing a vehicle. I don't mind at all if you hop in and drive it off. That's why I am here.
   
   
7. Don't Spot Squat
   
   Playing a sniper is so much fun. You get to watch your teammates get crushed by enemy armor and helicopters. What's all this racket I hear about spotting?
   
   
8. Drop Artillery on Contested Flags
   
   The commander's job is to dump as much artillery on as many enemies as possible. You know there will be many enemies at that flag half your team is trying to capture. Hey, your teammates will scram when they hear the arty coming.
   
   
9. The Base Will Defend Itself
   
   Woah, the enemy is driving a tank to your uncappable base to camp and get some spawn kills. You should not take the time to spot it. You should run as far away as possible.
   
   
10. Steal the Repair Points
    
    That engineer is repairing the UAV. He will not mind at all if you whip out your wrench and help. After all he does not need the repair point.

Edit: no u umlaut
Edit: This is meant to be funny!

[Dayfly]

Re: Being a Master of Battlefield 2

This guide is what i have been looking for my whole life! THX ALOT TOM!!

[imported_VIP3R]

Re: Being a Master of Battlefield 2

im pretty sure it was supposed to be a joke?

[TomGazpacho]

Re: Being a Master of Battlefield 2

Yeah, this is comic relief. Please laugh so you don't cry.

I admit I'm no sharpshooter. But I've actually been getting kills now after the 1.2 patch. I must have been the only guy in the universe to not realize that before the patch you can actually shoot while going prone. No wonder I died so much in head-to-head showdowns. Well, that and ditching my wireless mouse.

Peace

[imported_Wasp]

Re: Being a Master of Battlefield 2

Sadly all comments are spot on. On well admined servers you can
fortunately avoid some of them.

[imported_Chubz]

Re: Being a Master of Battlefield 2

Yeah, this is comic relief. Please laugh so you don't cry.

I admit I'm no sharpshooter. But I've actually been getting kills now after the 1.2 patch. I must have been the only guy in the universe to not realize that before the patch you can actually shoot while going prone. No wonder I died so much in head-to-head showdowns. Well, that and ditching my wireless mouse.

Peace

My bad.. didn't even realize it was a joke thread because I didn't fully read everything you posted. I thought you were actually being serious, so I guess my mind isn't quite working as well today.

And as for your kill-death ratio, I can't say that I'm doing any better because I've been getting pwned lately as well. I didn't mean any offense by it, I was just saying that if someone was giving those tips and being realistic, then the kill-death ratio would fit well with the stupidity.

[imported_ExtraSolar]

Re: Being a Master of Battlefield 2

Tom, this is offtopic, but how did you setup your stats sig from TotalBF2? I can't find that option! Thanks.

[TomGazpacho]

Re: Being a Master of Battlefield 2

Somewhere near the top of the screen will be a menubar with a link entitled 'User CP'. Click it. On the left-hand side will appear a link that reads 'Edit Signature'.

Want to use the nifty graphic showing your player stats? Click on your profile name in your response. Click 'View Public Profile'. Now find and click on the link that reads 'Click here to view ExtraSolar's BF2 stats'. You will see the graphic image. Right-click on it and copy the location. You can use it in your sig.

Best luck.

[imported_ExtraSolar]

Re: Being a Master of Battlefield 2

I did what you said, but it does not have that option to get stats for myself.

Nevermind, I figured it out.