Fake (funny) interview series, part 2. The EA Guy.
Interviewer: Thank you very much for joining us today, we appreciate your time, taking into consideration how hard you guys work on the next patch.
Mr.EA: Work on what?
Interviewer: The patch, the ones that fixes the last patch?
Mr.EA: Fixes the last patch? No, this is a new patch.
Interviewer: I know, but it fixes the problems that last patch made. The patch before that fixed the bugs from the patch before that. Then even before that the first patch in fact fixed the original Battlefield 2, which our sources now tell us was in fact a BETA release. Is that true?
Mr.EA: You asking me if the original Battlefield 2 was a BETA?
Interview: Yes I do.
Mr.EA: Well, I wouldn't call it BETA, BETA sounds a bit lesbian.
Interviewer: So you do not deny that Battlefield 2 shipped in a BETA stage?
Mr.EA: Yes. I mean, No, of course not, all games have EA standard.
Interviewer: EA standard?
Mr.EA: Well, they have an "EA" sticker on the box.
Interviewer: "EA sticker"? But that doesn't mean the game isn't a BETA.
Mr.EA: Yes is does, the sticker means we can sell it, they put the sticker on in the testing lab.
Interviewer: Testing lab? Is this about the monkeys?
Mr.EA: Not monkeys, Chimps.
Interviewer: Ok, moving on.
Interviewer: Last time we spoke with a representative from DICE, he claimed he didn't know any BF2 community in existence, can EA confirm that statement?
Mr.EA: Absolutely not, BF2 has the biggest and greatest gaming community out there today.
Interviewer: Is that really true?
Mr.EA: Well... It's our motto. The EA motto.
Interviewer: What EA motto? One general EA motto?
Mr.EA: Well no, it has to suit all the games, so our PR department came up with this cool program.
Interviewer: Care to share it?
Mr.EA: Ok. "<insert game title> has the greatest gaming community out there today." Or sometimes we use "to this day".
Interviewer: But you can't proove those statements?
Mr.EA: So?
Interviewer: Well, aren't you lying to your customers?
Mr.EA: We don't "lie" at EA, we "engange in disinformation".
Interviewer. Ahaa... I see. Ok, moving on.
Interviewer. I'd like to talk about the gameplay now. It seems like there is a big problem with the RED/BLUE nametags. Teammates some time show up as enemies. Is this a problem you prioritate high?
Mr.EA: Absolutely.
Interviewer: Really? It's being fixed?
Mr.EA: No. We decided to keep the bug with 1.2, gives a little "spice" on top of the gameplay.
Interviewer: By unwillingly killing your own teammates?
Mr.EA: Yeah, we wanted to make it more realistic, TK's happen in the real world as well you know. Sometime a cruise missile will hit a friendly bunker.
Interviewer: But... that seems like something you'd say just beause you can't fix the bug?
Mr.EA: We can fix the bug, actually we decided to call it a "good bug", so it's off the list now. We are commited into making more good bugs for you to enjoy.
Interviewer: Can we expect more good bugs then?
Mr.EA: Yes, we, actually the chimps at the testing lab, have agreed on a few more good bugs.
Interviewer: Like?
Mr.EA: Like the antitank rockets. Sometimes in real life, they actually dissapear.
Interviewer: I can't believe that, they dissapear?
Mr.EA: Yes, we spoke to military offiials, they recall their AT rockets simply dissapearing when fired on Iraqi T-74s.
Interviewer: Right into the blue?
Mr.EA: Yes, after a decade of research, they have figured out how this happened.
Interviewer: How did it happen?
Mr.EA: Magic.
Interviewer: You cannot be serious now?
Mr.EA: Yes, magic. So our guys at the developing department though "Why shouldn't be bring this "magic" to gamers all over the world to expirience." And today, EA's games are the most magical out there.
Interviewer: Do you share that tactic with the schock paddies that don't work after 1.2?
Mr.EA: Definetly, our research indicates that shock paddies some times run out of batteries spontaniously on the battlefield. We wanted to recreate that in BF2.
Interviewer: Ok, and on players still being swapped to the other team, despite being commanders?
Mr.EA: Again, happens in the real world, top officials and leaders are often kidnapped by secret agencies and deported.
Interviewer: Ok, ok. Final question.
Mr.EA: You don't have to ask, I'll sign it.
Interviewer: Excuse me?
Mr.EA: The paper? In your pocket?
Interviewer: I don't understand?
Mr.EA: You wan't my autograph?
Interviewer: Ehm, not really, the paper is actually a petition against EA with over 2500 signatures.
Mr.EA: A pet... What. You want me to sign it?
Interviewer: Signatures. Many people find it that EA is trying to, well, rip them off with the boosterpacks, they believe a few maps should be free.
Mr.EA: So you wan't me to sign it?
Interviewer: No, actually, I want your comment on it... ?
Mr.EA: Come on, you want me to sign it, right?
Interviewer: Ehm, sure. Go ahead.
Mr.EA: There you go, my pleasure. Don't go now selling it on eBay, hahaha.
Interviewer: Of course not, thank you very much for your time.
2nd interview (of hopefully many funny ones with the fools behind BF2).
Feel free to suggest topics/questions, just PM me. And remember people, it's all fun.
1st interview is here http://totalbf2.com/forums/showthread.php?t=60156
Interviewer: Thank you very much for joining us today, we appreciate your time, taking into consideration how hard you guys work on the next patch.
Mr.EA: Work on what?
Interviewer: The patch, the ones that fixes the last patch?
Mr.EA: Fixes the last patch? No, this is a new patch.
Interviewer: I know, but it fixes the problems that last patch made. The patch before that fixed the bugs from the patch before that. Then even before that the first patch in fact fixed the original Battlefield 2, which our sources now tell us was in fact a BETA release. Is that true?
Mr.EA: You asking me if the original Battlefield 2 was a BETA?
Interview: Yes I do.
Mr.EA: Well, I wouldn't call it BETA, BETA sounds a bit lesbian.
Interviewer: So you do not deny that Battlefield 2 shipped in a BETA stage?
Mr.EA: Yes. I mean, No, of course not, all games have EA standard.
Interviewer: EA standard?
Mr.EA: Well, they have an "EA" sticker on the box.
Interviewer: "EA sticker"? But that doesn't mean the game isn't a BETA.
Mr.EA: Yes is does, the sticker means we can sell it, they put the sticker on in the testing lab.
Interviewer: Testing lab? Is this about the monkeys?
Mr.EA: Not monkeys, Chimps.
Interviewer: Ok, moving on.
Interviewer: Last time we spoke with a representative from DICE, he claimed he didn't know any BF2 community in existence, can EA confirm that statement?
Mr.EA: Absolutely not, BF2 has the biggest and greatest gaming community out there today.
Interviewer: Is that really true?
Mr.EA: Well... It's our motto. The EA motto.
Interviewer: What EA motto? One general EA motto?
Mr.EA: Well no, it has to suit all the games, so our PR department came up with this cool program.
Interviewer: Care to share it?
Mr.EA: Ok. "<insert game title> has the greatest gaming community out there today." Or sometimes we use "to this day".
Interviewer: But you can't proove those statements?
Mr.EA: So?
Interviewer: Well, aren't you lying to your customers?
Mr.EA: We don't "lie" at EA, we "engange in disinformation".
Interviewer. Ahaa... I see. Ok, moving on.
Interviewer. I'd like to talk about the gameplay now. It seems like there is a big problem with the RED/BLUE nametags. Teammates some time show up as enemies. Is this a problem you prioritate high?
Mr.EA: Absolutely.
Interviewer: Really? It's being fixed?
Mr.EA: No. We decided to keep the bug with 1.2, gives a little "spice" on top of the gameplay.
Interviewer: By unwillingly killing your own teammates?
Mr.EA: Yeah, we wanted to make it more realistic, TK's happen in the real world as well you know. Sometime a cruise missile will hit a friendly bunker.
Interviewer: But... that seems like something you'd say just beause you can't fix the bug?
Mr.EA: We can fix the bug, actually we decided to call it a "good bug", so it's off the list now. We are commited into making more good bugs for you to enjoy.
Interviewer: Can we expect more good bugs then?
Mr.EA: Yes, we, actually the chimps at the testing lab, have agreed on a few more good bugs.
Interviewer: Like?
Mr.EA: Like the antitank rockets. Sometimes in real life, they actually dissapear.
Interviewer: I can't believe that, they dissapear?
Mr.EA: Yes, we spoke to military offiials, they recall their AT rockets simply dissapearing when fired on Iraqi T-74s.
Interviewer: Right into the blue?
Mr.EA: Yes, after a decade of research, they have figured out how this happened.
Interviewer: How did it happen?
Mr.EA: Magic.
Interviewer: You cannot be serious now?
Mr.EA: Yes, magic. So our guys at the developing department though "Why shouldn't be bring this "magic" to gamers all over the world to expirience." And today, EA's games are the most magical out there.
Interviewer: Do you share that tactic with the schock paddies that don't work after 1.2?
Mr.EA: Definetly, our research indicates that shock paddies some times run out of batteries spontaniously on the battlefield. We wanted to recreate that in BF2.
Interviewer: Ok, and on players still being swapped to the other team, despite being commanders?
Mr.EA: Again, happens in the real world, top officials and leaders are often kidnapped by secret agencies and deported.
Interviewer: Ok, ok. Final question.
Mr.EA: You don't have to ask, I'll sign it.
Interviewer: Excuse me?
Mr.EA: The paper? In your pocket?
Interviewer: I don't understand?
Mr.EA: You wan't my autograph?
Interviewer: Ehm, not really, the paper is actually a petition against EA with over 2500 signatures.
Mr.EA: A pet... What. You want me to sign it?
Interviewer: Signatures. Many people find it that EA is trying to, well, rip them off with the boosterpacks, they believe a few maps should be free.
Mr.EA: So you wan't me to sign it?
Interviewer: No, actually, I want your comment on it... ?
Mr.EA: Come on, you want me to sign it, right?
Interviewer: Ehm, sure. Go ahead.
Mr.EA: There you go, my pleasure. Don't go now selling it on eBay, hahaha.
Interviewer: Of course not, thank you very much for your time.
2nd interview (of hopefully many funny ones with the fools behind BF2).
Feel free to suggest topics/questions, just PM me. And remember people, it's all fun.
1st interview is here http://totalbf2.com/forums/showthread.php?t=60156
lol, this ones hillarious, just like the last one. grea tjob.
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