You might play too much StarCraft if...
You know you play too much StarCraft when...
* You mimic a firebat’s death cry in AP American to pass the time
* You write "You called down the thunder, now reap the whirlwind" on your binder, and even try to put it as a motto for something.
* You throw in unit quotes to spice up your conversations
* You start a StarCraft club at school without even thinking about getting your picture in the yearbook
* You start writing StarCraft fan fiction
* You start thinking about and imagining every aspect of StarCraft 2 (as in new units, storyline, design, cinematic... literally EVERY aspect of a game that hasn't even been announced yet)...
* You start chasing a dog with a flamethrower, claiming that it is a zergling
* You watch Star Wars and wonder if anyone else can tell that the Jedi are a blatant rip-off of dark templars
* You relabeled the polar bear exhibit at the zoo, “Ursadons”
* Your response to any criticism is, “omg noob i owns you in 1v1 LT eheh noob i own all wahahahahha”
* You are confused at funerals when you can still see the corpse even though the time of death has clearly been more than five seconds ago
* You can identify a time, situation, character/unit, or map type from a single dialog quote, but can’t recite the Pledge of Allegiance without a reference card
* You have blue prints to build a detector which will protect you from unit rushes
* You greet teachers, classmates, coworkers, and random passersby with, “En Taro Adun”
* You’ve petitioned your city’s council to pass a law requiring all drivers exiting a sheltered area to announce, “Ready to roll out!”
* During a tour of a local academy you ask to see, “Where they research the guns and medic stuff.”
* When a mechanic asks you to describe the problem your underpowered car is having, you describe it as “lagging”
* Your reason for being late to class is that a ghost locked down your car
* You avoid snakes because they will “consume” you
* You don’t fear a nuclear holocaust because you know that nukes only deal 600 or 4/5 damage, whatever is the most.
* You are actively trying to find Fenix's grave.
* You blame 9/11 on infested Terrans
* You calculate when Mengsk will be born, so you can kill him.
* You snicker, “Got a light?” whenever you see fire
* You try to program StarCraft on your graphing calculator
* You get suspended due to an argument over Protoss carrier tactics that got out of hand
* You have a library of tapes containing StarCraft-Live episodes made by you and your friends
* You feel turned on by the medic/valkyrie pilot's voice
* You don’t understand how the Ghostbusters can catch ghosts without a science vessel
* You can give a flawless hour and a half speech on Protoss history, but can’t remember where your locker is
* You're actually criticizing your history teacher for not teaching StarCraft history (aka AP Terran Empire History, AP Confederation History, AP History of the Swarm, etc.)
* Your glasses have thickened two centimeters in one week.
* You have gotten four “F”s in a row, cannot think properly, and fail to see how it has any relation to the fact that you spend every second out of school on Battle.net
* Every sentence you speak contains a StarCraft double-entendre.
* You are writing about StarCraft in language art journals.
* You are running like a zergling in gym
* You claim every thing you do is for Auir
* In science class you ask what solar system Mar Sara is located in
* You ask your foreign language teacher how to say “Lost Temple”, and “u got pwnd n00b”
* You see somebody cheating on a test and you take a digital picture; threatening to send it to Blizzard on the grounds of stat farming
* Upon learning about the lost colony of Roanoke Island, you instantly suspect Zerg involvement
* You call a bus/taxi driver “Dropship Lady”
* You call freshmen newbs/noobs/n00bs/n00bz/nubs
* Your idea of intimidation is telling someone that your micro will own them
* You fail English for using words such as pwn, 1337, and haxx0r
* You don’t use ladders because the top has been hacked by stupid people
* You call construction workers “SCV”s
* You legally change your name to Jim, Edmund, Arcturus, Tassadar, Fenix, Rasagal, Aldaris, Zeratul, or you just simply change your name to Blizzard.
* You run around the office with a laser pointer yelling "Nuclear launch detected!!!"
* You ask if you can dissect lurkers for biology
* You and your friends make a code based on the Protoss language
* You ask why Protoss isn't offered as a language at your school
* You call your history teacher, the principle, and the janitor who took away your iPod, “ultralisks”
* You dress as Jim Rayner when you go to superhero conventions
* You ask your councilor if they will send a report of your psi-abilities to the Ghost Selection Committee
* You threaten the school bully that your 'Ultralisk horde' will stomp him in the night
* Your pet dog is named Raynor, Mengsk, Kerrigan, etc. etc...
* Your pet goldfish is named Raynor, Mengsk, Kerrigan, etc. etc...
* You think someone should sue Jack Frost for copyright infringement on Blizzard
* You are in love with Kerrigan.
* You are in love with the Medics.
* You have fantasies about either the medics, or Kerrigan.
* You go to sign up for the Army, and ask to be a firebat
* You try to convince astrologists to name the next discovered planet Aiur.
* You go to a drug store and try and buy vespene gas over the counter.
* You think that anything you touch should do what you tell it to do
* The dragoon says: "Drop your weapons, you have fifteen seconds to comply," and you drop your mouse. But then you realize that it is just a game, and the dragoon can't hurt you.
* You don't realize that it is just a game.
* You actually get shot and killed by the dragoon.
* You play Tekken and dream about adding zerglings
* When your XP login picture is a unit from StarCraft
* You start crying when the medic says: "He's dead commander."
* The vulture or the marine cusses you out because you clicked on them several times and you start cussing at them as well.
* You introduce yourself as "Executor."
* Zeratul is your hero.
* You regain your childhood fear of the dark due to haunting images of the Zerg
* You put this in the classifieds:
-Girlfriend wanted-
Attributes: Own StarCraft and a fast computer.
Preferred Race: No n00bs need apply.
About me: you will probably the only social contact in my life so get used to it.
Preferred skills: you must be able to cook since the only physical movement I make is moving my fingers.
Turn offs: having the sheer audacity to throw away my computer, say StarCraft is silly, or try to turn the computer off
* Your idea of helpful comments in a traffic jam include, “Press Ctrl + M!” or telling others to turn their latency to extra high.
* You try entering “show me the money” as your PIN on an ATM
* You realize the ATM isn’t responding because it’s online
* You try to pass off StarCraft as an educational tool so you can install it on the school computers.
* You first played StarCraft when you still had that old computer with Windows 95.
* That computer was new when you first played StarCraft.
* You still play StarCraft on a modern computer
* You bought a $3000 gaming rig just to play StarCraft
* Your using your 10th copy of Brood war since the other copies have worn out from use
* You have a barcode tattooed on your forehead
* You've scoured the Internet in search of Xel Naga pictures
* Your StarCraft fanfics are based on personal experience.
* You’re afraid to step on spiders because they explode
* You have “paci-FIST!!!” written onto your gloves.
* You tell the dealership that you are looking for a heavy duty off-road vehicle with a siege option
* You blame blackouts on EMP strikes
* Right before you get beaten up at school, you yell "Power Overwhelming," and laugh to yourself, knowing you will ownzor your opponent.
* You try to make stimpacks at home.
* You think that people are created fully grown from Barracks.
* You know your teacher is infested
* You believe tactics are for chumps. After all, a real commander charges head-on into the enemy lines with no sense of self-preservation.
* You ask your psychology teacher for recommendations on how to master the “mind-control” ability
* You wonder how China got an army of two million when everyone can only make at best 600
* You try to buy something at your local supermarket with minerals and vespane gas.
* You play games like Command and Conquer and you get really annoyed when your entire army gets owned by a single tank crushing all your infantry
* Your first response when you hear your name is, “Yes sir?”
* You print StarCraft pictures and stick them on your bedroom door.
* You don't let anybody to speak badly of StarCraft
* You feel compelled to tell every person you meet about StarCraft strategies
* You write to the Air Force asking for a cloaking device
* You have a reoccurring dream where you are a lone marine and you take down a huge army of zerglings
* Your girlfriend/boyfriend learns that you don't hear anything when you are playing.
* You can't sleep if you don't play at least 15 minutes online
* You can, from memory alone, draw any map on command
* You have unit details like attack damage, special abilities, attack type, cooldown time, and supply limit written in the margins of your science notes
* You are asked to do something and respond, “No problem!”
* You write “To completely pwn 8 plrs melee” under the “Life Goals” column
* You can’t play any game wherein the resources aren’t minerals or vespene gas
* You use “Independence Day” as evidence that Area 51 is breeding zerglings
* You say “Job finished!” every time you complete something
* You call your house your “nexus”.
* You play basketball and ask your friends if the game is “melee or UMS.”
* You know the mineral-to-dollar exchange rate
* You realize that you're broke and ask your parents to borrow some minerals.
* You inject steroids into your arm to get home faster
* You buy a refrigerator for the sole purpose of acquiring the box and using it to build a life-size replica of an SCV (in which you will pick your nose)
* You send siblings out to scout neighbors' yards.
* Your solution for Iraq is "Battlecruisers. Mass Battlecruisers."
* Your only fear when massing Battlecruisers against Iraq is that they may have cloaked Wraiths waiting
* The Bunsen burner in chemistry looks deliciously inviting as a splash damage weapon.
* You poke people repeatedly in the hopes that they will say something funny
* You complain about the inefficiency of the military; because even on slow days it only took you half an hour to amass a fleet and annihilate your opponent
* Your solution to overpopulation is to build more supply depots
* The Department of Homeland Security has received several letters and a few large packages outlining your proposed plan to defend the United States with missile turrets, bunkers, and siege tanks
* You call your school bully a “dragoon”
* You start calling rich people "n00bs" and tell them to play on real maps.
* You are asked about transporting construction materials and demand that they be warped in fully assembled
* You have written to your state’s senator at least five different times outlining a national system of arbiters to “recall” people wherever they want to go
* You don’t know what an anchor icon means
* Your description of your grandmother includes the words, “infested Kerrigan”
* You mistake Democrats for UED leaders
* You mistake Republicans for broodlings
* Your friend is a Hydralisk. No matter what anyone else says, he's a Hydralisk.
* You try to “Optical Flare” your dog
* You answer the phone with “You want a piece of me, boy?!”
* You know everyone on Battle.net. Everyone on Battle.net knows you.
* You give people your Battle.net username instead of your phone number.
* You know, by heart, how many hits it will take a marine to destroy a Battlecrusier.
* You can beat every Terran campaign mission with four marines and an SCV.
* You went as a zealot for Halloween.
* You use the wall in your room as a board for designing new strategies.
* You have been to every single StarCraft site searching for the best possible strategy.
* You have a small shrine dedicated to your StarCraft CD case.
* You convert to become a follower of the Khalai.
* Your scientific explanation for twins is that “They’re just hallus of an original unit”
* You have a weekly meeting with your friends to make new strategies
* The doctor give you an injection, you sigh relaxingly and say “Ah, that's the stuff.”
* You force your mom to call the school bus a “Shuttle”
* You see your friend in a fight and you shout "We must join our brethren in battle!"
* You worry about walking through narrow places because there might be burrowed lurkers.
* You cry yourself to sleep because your StarCraft CD is missing.
* You and a friend try to create an archon by running at each other very fast
* All you're friends refer to you as your battle.net name, as you do all your friends
* You try to create small talk by asking, "What’s your win percentage?"
* You try creating a StarCraft trading card game
* You claim Santa Clause doesn't use reindeer anymore because he's moved onto Dropships
* You go to AA meetings looking for tips on defending yourself against air rushes
* You refer to the doorways in your school as “choke points”
* Your history teacher asks you who invaded Berlin in May 1945 and you respond, “Player 1”
* You don’t understand why your MiGs won’t hold position
* You poke small, yipping dogs repeatedly
* You understand at least half of the above
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