Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Strike At Karkand was loading, as I wiggled my mouse. Karkand had loaded, I was almost there, There would be no flying, no stingers, no flares. My team started spawning, it’s time to cap flags I'll be sure to kill some bunny-hopping fags. If I spawn really quick, maybe I’ll snag the tank, Then head to the Hotel to shoot at their flank. Passing the Market, I heard enemy chatter, I turned my tank around to see them all scatter. I stepped on the pedals and gave it some gas, They hid in the same spot, they died in one blast! So then I debated on where I should go, Maybe to their arty, with C4 to blow. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a packed Humvee, and a driver who couldn’t steer. The driver sees me so I have to shoot him quick, One shot to the tires really did the trick. More rapid than eagles the enemy came, I killed them one by one and called them some names! “Die n00bie! Die Lamer! You dolphin diving bitches! I pwn j00! Die Hax0r and fags who use glitches! You can hide on a rooftop or behind a wall, It doesn’t matter ‘cause I will pwn j00 a11!” I spotted a spec ops out the corner of my eye, I nailed him with a tank round, and made that bitch fly! I made kill after kill, my score really grew, But I needed quick repairs and some ammo too. My commander was useless, a total goof What kind of retard drops supplies on a roof? I drove around the map to buy me some time, When I saw something else that would do just as fine. Here came an Engy, with some AT mines to lay, I killed him so fast, he got mad and called me gay. I hopped out my tank to go pick up his pack, To repair to full health and then renew my attack. My tank was like new, so pristine and so cherry, This would help win first place and make me so merry. I started the engine, the tank treads did roll Onward back into battle, first place was my goal. Coming towards me was trouble, their APC, I rolled up ahead as my team began to flee. He shot once and then twice, there was no direct hit, The driver was a total n00b, and in deep ****. Now he wasn’t moving, he was totally still, He was easy to hit as I went in for the kill. I left-clicked on my mouse as I shook my head, His APC blew up, his lame ass was dead. I spoke not a word, and went straight back to work, The other team called me a hax0r and jerk. When you have this much skill, that’s just how it goes, You’ll get no respect from those whiney-ass hoes. The match was almost over, the ticket count low, I got killed at the Market by that stupid ass tow. I shouted to the n00bs who bowed before my might, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good fight!” Happy holidays everyone!
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Re: Twas the night before Christmas-BF2 style
Wow, did you write that. Bravo. I love it. Happy holidays! -
Re: Twas the night before Christmas-BF2 style
Despite how scary it is that someone actually wrote this, it's actually fairly entertaining. O_oComment
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Re: Twas the night before Christmas-BF2 style
Holy crap, you had to take time off playing BF2 to write that, nice.Comment
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Re: Twas the night before Christmas-BF2 style
Very nice! Props!Comment
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Re: Twas the night before Christmas-BF2 style
wow .... hehe , pretty cool man but honestly ... get some help, it doesnt have to be this way ^^Comment
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Re: Twas the night before Christmas-BF2 style
I love the endingComment
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Re: Twas the night before Christmas-BF2 style
I stopped reading at "fags". Yawn.Comment
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Reformatted (with slight edits)
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Freakin' Karkand was loading, as I wiggled my mouse.
The map had just loaded, I was almost there,
There would be no flying, no stingers, no flares.
My team started spawning, time to cap some flags
I'm sure to kill lots of bunny-hopping fags.
If I spawn really quick, maybe I'll snag the tank,
Then head to the Hotel to blow out their flank.
Passing the Market, I heard enemy chatter,
I turned my tank 'round to see punk-asses scatter.
I stepped on the pedals and gave it some gas,
They all hid in the same spot, and died in one blast!
I debated on where that next I should go,
Perhaps to their arty, with C4 to blow.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a well-packed Humvee with a driver who couldn't steer.
The driver sees me so I shoot him right quick,
One shot to the tires, that does the trick.
More rapid than eagles the enemy came,
I killed them in order and called them some names!
"Die n00bies! Die Lamers!
You dolphin-diving bitches!
I pwn j00! Die Hax0rz and fags who use glitches!
You can hide on a rooftop or behind a wall,
It won't matter, you noobs, 'cause I pwn j00 a11!"
I spotted a spec ops in the corner of my eye,
I nailed him with a tank round, and made that bitch fly!
I made kill after kill, my score grew and grew,
But I needed repairs and some more ammo too.
My commander was useless, a real braindead goof
What kind of damned retard puts supplies on a roof?
I drove 'round the map to buy me some time,
When I saw something else that would do just as fine.
Here came an Engy, with AT mines to lay,
I killed him so fast, he got mad, called me gay.
I hopped outta my tank and picked up his pack,
To fix up my Abrams and renew my attack.
My tank was like new, so pristine, so cherry,
If I won first place, I'd be oh so merry.
I started the engine, the treads they did roll
Back into the battle, first place as my goal.
Coming towards me was trouble, their fresh APC,
I rolled up ahead as my team they did flee.
He shot once, twice, there was no direct hit,
The dude was a n00b, and in deepest sh1t
Now he wasn't really moving, sat totally still,
He was easy to hit as I went for the kill.
I left-clicked my mouse as I shook my head,
His Vodnik blew up, his lame ass was dead.
I spoke not a word, and went straight back to work,
The other team called me a hax0r and jerk.
When you have this much skill, that's just how it goes,
You'll get no respect from these whiney-ass hoes.
The match almost over, the ticket count low,
I got killed at the Market by that stupid ass TOW.
So I shouted to the n00bs who bowed before my might,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good fight!Comment
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Re: Twas the night before Christmas-BF2 style
that was fan-f**king-tastic, two thumbs up!Comment
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Re: Twas the night before Christmas-BF2 style
This Is What The Holidays Are All About Good Job!!!!!!!Comment
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Re: Twas the night before Christmas-BF2 style
L...M..A...O that was fvcking hilarious man great work. glad we have someone on these forums who knows some good ENGRISH and good gremmar, lol j/k to you folks who might take that ofensively. keep it up ill be expecting one for easter and next year!Comment
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Re: Twas the night before Christmas-BF2 style
"I nailed him with a tank round, and made that bitch fly!"
Simply great writing!Comment
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Re: Twas the night before Christmas-BF2 style
HAHAHAHAHA, dude that was pretty bad ass, I give mad props for that.Comment
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Re: Twas the night before Christmas-BF2 style
Very nicely done. It's not everyday that someone posts something that funny. Thanks to bustacaptx for reformatting it to make it easier to read.Comment
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