My first toon - Critism Required

[Sir. Shpox]

Well this is my first toon, I started using Battlerecorder and Fraps yesterday.

It's a dedication to 1942's Weenie, not sure if you've seen it or not.

Anyway, its not great, the song choice was based to Weenie, frankly I hate the song but eh..

Constructive Critism is welcome. I know its pretty not good and a bit too fast paced, so feedback is welcome too..

To watch:

http://media.putfile.com/Weenie2Bf244

[Decripfy]

Re: My first toon - Critism Required

umm it isnt one of the videos to see over and over again.. but i guess it was alright just a wee bit boring.

[imported_shadow_vision]

Re: My first toon - Critism Required

OK, heres my oppy (opinion)

Too much head bobbin, there are a good variety of things your "character" can do besides bob his head that would have looked pretty cool in that vid. ( ie. the zorro knife manuever)

Good tunes, goes well with a cartoonish vid like this one.

Also needs a little more funnies ... toon vids should always have somethin that makes ppl wanna memorize and tell their friends about. This is obviously hard to pull off and I would feel like an idiot if I did not give you an example ... so heres a bad one Use perhaps the "old school Bugs Bunny" theme which entertains the viewer by showing someone getting hurt ( in your case maybe pumalled by a car or supply crate on there head) AND if you really want to add the head bobbin thing in there, see if you cant get like 10 guys to do it ... to the left ... to the right ... Now spin it! l9lz ...

Just some tips, useful or not :)

[MormonComputerZ]

Re: My first toon - Critism Required

I chuckled at the Aircraft Carrier guns. Good job!

[Sir. Shpox]

Re: My first toon - Critism Required

OK, heres my oppy (opinion)

Too much head bobbin, there are a good variety of things your "character" can do besides bob his head that would have looked pretty cool in that vid. ( ie. the zorro knife manuever)

Good tunes, goes well with a cartoonish vid like this one.

Also needs a little more funnies ... toon vids should always have somethin that makes ppl wanna memorize and tell their friends about. This is obviously hard to pull off and I would feel like an idiot if I did not give you an example ... so heres a bad one Use perhaps the "old school Bugs Bunny" theme which entertains the viewer by showing someone getting hurt ( in your case maybe pumalled by a car or supply crate on there head) AND if you really want to add the head bobbin thing in there, see if you cant get like 10 guys to do it ... to the left ... to the right ... Now spin it! l9lz ...

Just some tips, useful or not :)

It was based on the 1942 weenie so thats why there's so much bobbin (In Weenie its pretty much the same song and the same bobbin).

However yes, for my second toon I will have different variations of things, however seeing I access to 2 pc's and 1 one doesn't support Bf2, I had to fly solo. Wish I could get 10 guys doing it Thanks for tips.