Secret patch notes!

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  • Do0minator

    #1

    Secret patch notes!

    I just got a secret memo detailing how air units will be fixed in the next patch:

    1) Anti-tank rockets will no longer affect choppers; it was not intended for these weapons to be used against choppers in any form. They'll still affect jets, but only those in flight.

    2) The cockpit will be reinforced. It was discovered that two main gun hits from a tank into the cockpit could sometimes destroy a chopper; armor levels have been adjusted accordingly so that this could no longer be exploited.

    3) Teflon coating. C4 will no longer stick to air units; additionally, C4 will no longer affect units in flight, as it has been determined that C4 is too useful otherwise.

    4) Better repair. It was found that flying back to the base for free repair detracted from the fun of the game. Now all air units are automatically repaired, provided they are in flight (to balance it a bit).

    5) Better ammunition reload. See 4 for similar implementation.

    6) More damage. Often, some units would actually survive a direct hit from an aircraft weapon. Now, when the bombs or rockets land, all units in that location, regardless of which server they are on, are automatically destroyed. Additionaly, one player's home, randomly chosen, is destroyed, as penalty for not playing an air unit.

    7) Anti-aircraft weaponry. It has been discovered that 'heat seeking' missiles are far more likely to hit friendly aircraft than enemy. To prevent griefing, anyone foolish enough to attempt to fire an anti-aircraft weapon will automatically die as the weapon will explode on the ground.

    8) Point rebalancing. To discourage players shooting at aircraft, no points will be given to anyone who successfully shoots down any flying vehicle.


    Seriously, could air power BE any more unbalanced than it is?

    Take care,

    Rick
  • (BG)Patton
    Member
    • Jun 2007
    • 829

    #2
    Re: Secret patch notes!

    what a bunce of ********, i hate air power as it is

    Comment

    • [MBP]Logan

      #3
      Re: Secret patch notes!

      lol

      Comment

      • `danny

        #4
        Re: Secret patch notes!

        Yea secret *cough* fake patch notes...

        Comment

        • Princess_Sophia

          #5
          Re: Secret patch notes!

          I agree with Danny. Things are unbalanced as they are now. That would make things a hundred times worse. Those notes can't be authentic. Where did you get them and what makes you think they are true???

          Comment

          • glasseye

            #6
            Re: Secret patch notes!

            funny stuff. :laugh:
            Originally posted by (BG)patton
            what a bunce of ********, i hate air power as it is
            Originally posted by Strike|Danny
            Yea secret *cough* fake patch notes...
            Originally posted by Princess_Sophia
            I agree with Danny. Things are unbalanced as they are now. That would make things a hundred times worse. Those notes can't be authentic. Where did you get them and what makes you think they are true???
            you guys are joking right? right?:hmm:

            :to all expectant mothers out there, do not sniff glue while pregnant.

            Comment

            • pYura

              #7
              Re: Secret patch notes!

              Haha, nice try, but its just a joke guys... :)

              Comment

              • Sheepah

                #8
                Re: Secret patch notes!

                It is? My word...

                Comment

                • imported_Fusion

                  #9
                  Re: Secret patch notes!

                  WOW GULLABLE IDIOTS! The patch notes were funny, but what I found even funnier was some peoples replies to it.

                  "what a bunce of ********, i hate air power as it is"

                  "Those notes can't be authentic. Where did you get them and what makes you think they are true???"

                  The stupidity in this forum NEVER ceases to amaze me.

                  Comment

                  • C11.Nemisis

                    #10
                    Re: Secret patch notes!

                    lmao the first one just screamed fake to me, AT rockets dont affect choppers? lmao gave me a good laught though made my day

                    Comment

                    • BasherTarr

                      #11
                      Re: Secret patch notes!

                      Guys, you should really put the caps of markers back on before you go to sleep.

                      Comment

                      • thewierdone2000

                        #12
                        Re: Secret patch notes!

                        Originally posted by Do0minator
                        7) Anti-aircraft weaponry. It has been discovered that 'heat seeking' missiles are far more likely to hit friendly aircraft than enemy. To prevent griefing, anyone foolish enough to attempt to fire an anti-aircraft weapon will automatically die as the weapon will explode on the ground.

                        I dont know how anyone could believe it.... READ IT lol

                        Comment

                        • Jesse

                          #13
                          Re: Secret patch notes!

                          Man I love satire. I love it even more when people take it seriously. Although, there is one thing in that I agree with:

                          "7) Anti-aircraft weaponry. It has been discovered that 'heat seeking' missiles are far more likely to hit friendly aircraft than enemy."

                          Ain't that the truth? :p Definately needs some work I think.

                          Comment

                          • Medina1ACD

                            #14
                            Re: Secret patch notes!

                            lol, I figured it was fake, but I would have fell for hte 1st one, EA would do that.

                            Comment

                            • PFC_Kiriakis

                              #15
                              Re: Secret patch notes!

                              Bogus!!

                              Comment

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