Flobots - "Handlebars" (the parody)

[proph^]

“Silencer”
Parody of “Handlebars” by Flobots
Written by Sean “propH^” Adams (#opus-x) (aka "minnesota" ESEA)
07/15/08

(I recommend playing the song as you read through the lyrics to avoid missing some of the satire - you can find the Handlebars video by searching on [link="http://www.youtube.com"]http://www.youtube.com[/link])

I can shoot my colt with no silencer
No silencer
No silencer

I can shoot my colt with no silencer
No silencer
No silencer

Look at me
1 v 3
Bombs on the ground and it's good to be
ALIVE
And I'm a famous fragger
Even tho' my friends are all thirteen
I can show you how to block the door
I can show you how to bind voicerecord
Kyle can take apart the great X3
But Team3D put ‘em back together
I can try to not get a forfeit win
I can tell you about Ronald Kim
I know all the boosts on de_inferno
And I can hold inner on de_train
Me and my friend can super boost
Me and my friend made a frag vid
And guess how long it is
I can do anything that I want cuz, kids

I can rush middle with a deagle
With a deagle
With a deagle

(And) I can shoot your face through the double doors
Through the double doors
Through the double doors

Look at me
1 v 3
Just team flashed and it's good to be
ALIVE
And there’s such a small chance cuz
They’re all stacked up in bombsite B
I can spend money on ESEA
I can make a living off of Cevo-P
I can design a strat that would pwn u
And make ur whole team mad at me
I can make new FPS configs
I can make computers survive unstable conditions
I know how to run a CAL squad
And I can make YOU really want to tryout
Starters, ringers and roster riders
Me and my team will pwn the future
I know the admins who control the systems
So I can do anything with no assistance

(Cuz) I can spam ur vent with a microphone
With a microphone
With a microphone

(And) I got CAL-I proof on my SteamID
On my SteamID
On my SteamID

Look at me
Toggling
Haxing and I won't stop
If I just keep camping
Then I’ll be on top
My cheat is private
My aimbot secure
My walls are hidden
My headshots are pure
I can screw my team and avoid rotations
Or let 'em all cry with their explanations
Have 'em all fail with their expectations
Have 'em all post on CS-Nation
I can flame anybody on the forums
Just because I don't like 'em
(And) I can type anything with no permission
(Cuz) I’m not afraid of my mom and dad

(And) I can piss you off with my flashlight
With my flashlight
With my flashlight

(And) I can kill my target with a no-scope
With a no-scope
With a no-scope

(And) I can win CAL-O as a UNICORN
As a UNICORN
As a UNICORN
As a UNICORN
As a UNICORN
As a UNICORN

I can shoot my colt with no silencer
No silencer
No silencer

I can shoot my colt with no silencer
No silencer
No silencer

Fin.

[proph^]

I guess I'll do my best to explain my thought process in the design of this parody. Keep in mind I used to love "Weird Al" Yankovic [link="http://www.weirdal.com/-"]http://www.weirdal.com/-[/link] that guy is crazy retarded and his work is unmatched.

There are a few keys to making a good parody:

1. The Song
If you are going waste your time doing something as unproductive as writing a parody for an e-audience, you might want to pick a song that people are familiar with. Better yet, pick one that is “hawt” so that you have a better chance on affecting a larger group of people. Also consider picking a song that has a particular meaning or angst so that when you flip the meaning it will produce an equal amount of energy in the new direction of your choice. I picked “Handlebars” for two reasons; its hawt, and the anti-establishment overtones help to draw lines which are easily teased when the story changes.

2. The Story
Replace the story with something that other people can identify with. Consider the psyche of your target audience, what are the "hot buttons" that those people will be forced to consider emotionally. It's kind of like tickling, but not from your shady uncle.

Example:

My cheat is private
My aimbot secure
My walls are hidden
My headshots are pure

Obviously cheating is one of the most talked about issues today, and everybody has a vested opinion about it. Much of the parody is creating a pseudo-realistic character, almost like a villain or an outcast so that the listener is drawn to the satire at the direct expense of that being. I imagined that more people (like myself) hold a disdain for those who cheat (UTP), so at the climax of the song is peaking the emotional interest of the listener. UNICORNING cheaters!

3. The Rhythm
Try your best not to disturb the rhythmic fluidity of the song. This requires that you dissect each line into syllables. This task is truly the most difficult because trying to replace those words without ruining the rhythm can be a bear.

Example:

(1)I (2)know (3)all (4)the (5)words (6)to (7)De (8)Co (9)lor (10)es
(1)And (2)I'm (3)Proud (4)to (5)be (6)an (7)A (8)mer (9)i (10)can

Replaced by:

(1)I (2)know (3)all (4)the (5)boosts (6)on (7)de_ (8)in (9)fer (10)no
(1)And (2)I (3)can (4)hold (5)in (6)ner (7)on (8)d (9)e_ (10)train

Notice that I chose to not separate the “de_” in the first line in order to try to retain the word-sync to the original song â€" so when he says “De”, you are saying “De”. You have to have a balance of creativity and integrity in following your determined rules.

4. The Rhyme
In addition to the rhythm of a line, is the rhyme. If you do not replace a key word (typically the last word of a line) with another that sounds similar, you can halt the entire process. Keep in mind that your listener is likely very familiar with the actual verse that you are altering. Try to locate the more significant words in the song, replace them with a word which ties to your story and then build the rest of the line. It’s kind of like working a maze in reverse. Try not to replace every word in the song, in fact it works in your favor to retain as much of the original song as possible without being lazy about it. Some of the words that you might keep are the ones at the beginning of a given verse or the ones that the original song exaggerates.

Example:

“Look at me” and “ALIVE”

This rule however is no different than any of the others. If you cannot seem to find a suitable replacement word or group of words, then change that CPL and UNICORN it!

5. The Concept
Try to attach similar concepts to the lines that you replace (when possible). This is more of a “cherry on top” rule. If you can do most of the things I just mentioned AND change a line to something that relates to the original, well then you struck comedy gold!

Example:

Original:
I can tell you about Leif Ericson

Modified:
I can tell you about Ronald Kim

[link="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ronald_%22Rambo%22_Kim"]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ronald_%22Rambo%22_Kim[/link]

U see wat I did thar? Btw, I played with Ron on riotsquad. He is really cool irl.

6. The End
Have fun with it, and ignore the haters. Because…

Haters don’t love
What haters don't hate
What a hater don't know
Is that haters are fake
They hate just to front
Like their stacked in the pack
But lovers all know
That haters ... well they have really small penises.

[Sintra]

k

[JediArtist88]

<thunderous applause>

Well done.

[proph^]

lol