Greetings.
I present to you today a story, one where I successfully managed to have consecutive mutiny and kick votes run against me for 4 hours straight, where I rode my teams superior skill to victory (and gold medal) every game, despite my own ignorance.
It begins on Daqing Oilfields: my friends just arrive at my house as I enter the server, and within seconds I've managed to teamkill 5 people using the incredibly weak and annoying M249 Saw. Punished every time, a kick vote begins, but the round ends before it comes to completion.
Dragon valley rolls along, and we start as chinese. Here's where the fun really begins: apply for commander position, then steal the PGZ-95 and drive northwest along the upper mountain ranges to the enemy carrier. Server runs a no base-rape rule (more implied than actually enforced) so I spend the next 15 minutes shooting everything that moves on the US carrier, placing arty on it and using the supplydrops and UAV's only for myself.
At this point, several angsty squad leaders chime in, threatening all manner of things, such as stabbing me in the neck, to assaulting my anal orifice, and humping my mum, sif I care. I give the headset to my friend, and then, then we hold down "v".
Surely you all have friends that just love to act like dicks when they perceive a lack of repercussions from their actions, right? Well, 3 friends + me + VOIP + a MP3/cellphone when it's after school = how it is. The stream of verbal abuse my 3 teenage friends spur down the VOIP to 9 active SL, aswell as playing moronic tracks like "Eye of the tiger" and giving constant commentary on the playing skills of people randomly selected from the team was just too much for some souls, apparently.
I get TK'd.. here I am, 28 kill 0 death, keeping the enemy jets and heli at bay, and the bastards tk me. ^.^ vengeance. I don't know what was worse, me flying in a helicopter as pilot, with friends still gibbering like idiots down the tube and terrible RnB playing as ambient tone, or me arty on my own airfield and cartillary on my own soldiers.
The first mutiny vote.. at this point, my true nature is revealed, and I begin to TK anyone and everyone I see, and because of my airborne nature I was invincible. Target hotspots with arty, only to mass 12-14 teamkills, kamikaze dives on friendly tanks where I bail at the last second, cartillary on our SAM sites, taking friendly armour and driving them off cliffs and then hopping in and out of them so that they don't blow up..
And the best part.. I had FUN!
Game over, victory for us, amazingly.. spawn as USMC... commander for me, jump into the Essex guns....
Spraying my own decks was the most fulfilling moment of that entire game.
The plethora of team-induced carnage was a spectacle, punishes flying at me with much fury, as fast as I could kill my teammates they would be back on their feet, shooting at me uselessly with their petty rifles.. cartillary on my own cobras as they tried desperately to fly away, M95 sniper the pilots and strays left on the decks.. it didnt take long, but in the end the carrier was mine. "BENIS YOU ****WIT **** LICKER! TAKE WHATEVER YOU WANT THEN **** OFF ALREADy!!!!!".. what did I do? I took nothing, I left them there, and drove one of the carriers boats to the artillary, where I proceeded to climb uselessly up the hill, as an M95 sniper.
I challenge you to guess how the rest of the game went :) I spent it in a linebacker, shooting down my own aircraft as they tried to get off the carrier. How we won that time, I'll never know. All my efforts, for naught! Winning by 40+ tickets was unacceptable! The next few rounds would be different, I swore..
New map: Fushe Pass.
I hate this map, make no mistake. Me hating a map + me as commander.. spells doom for my own team. Sadly, this time I had no easy ways to accomplish my higher objective, no essex guns, no hiding spots where I could lay claymores and snipe friendly pilots.. nothing. I was forced to be creative.. like rambo. Yea, I was ****ing rambo.
I knew that artillary on my own chinese airfield just wouldn't be sufficient after all I had done the round before. People were trying their hardest to TK me, and I had no tanks, no helicopter, nothing. So what did I do? Sabotage, I swore fealty to the masses, promising never to repeat the mistakes of the previous rounds, promising to be a good commander.
Not so.
Once my team had dispersed, I took our attack helicopter (after m95 the pilot and gunner, of course
) and promptly delivered it to the enemy team at their HQ. Rinse and repeat baby.. It didn't take long before our J-10s were sitting, neatly parked on the USMC runways, ready for the enemy to take them as their own.
The next phase of my master plan had to be executed masterfully to ensure it's success.. spawn as engineer. Placing mines on all the friendly armour I could find at friendly spawns, one by one removing them as the enemy soldiers took the vehicles for their own, and then surrendering the flags in turn to my overlord masters of the american races. Then.. beating my own forces back with carefully placed volleys of artillary and cartillary to ensure that my men couldnt gain ANY ground.. giving supply drops to the enemy to keep them rolling forwards, to the crunch at that final moment, the last glorious battle.
I was sure of my victory.. but after having come back from making some 2 minute noodles and eating a packet of m&m's I found my team had miraculously fought it's way back to the half way point. We were winning.. in terms of tickets you're looking at about 120 - 110 here.
My mouth dropped.. THIS WAS NOT POSSIBLE! My team had foiled what I thought was a perfect plan; the enemy let me walk among their number as some godly figure, I was the ultimate, PERFECT traitor. In my absence the pathetic wretches I had fought SO HARD to help had crumbled under the weight of poorly manufactured Ak-47s and vastly outdated chinese replica russian helicopters.
I was so enraged, the entire server felt my wrath.. my jukebox (aka the cellphone) had died from low battery power, my friends had been nagging me to do it. I started playing normally.
Running like a bolt of lightning to the friendly z-10, i tked the pilot out of his seat then whisked myself away to the US hq.. 5 minutes of unabated manslaughter of any and ALL who came near.. friend or foe, whilst greedily using the supply boxes for my own gain, and using the UAV only to locate new targets had netted my team the victory.
75 tickets to 0.
My eyes were twitching the whole time the new map loaded. I had been boycotted, strung down, run over, my ego trampled. I had never felt such shame before. I had been betrayed.
It didnt end there.. I spawned on our Kubra MEC airfield. I knew what was coming. I didnt apply for commander, I didn't need to, I didnt even have to try.
It's one thing to have stabbed in the back like my fellow players had in the previous match.. but its another to have 31 angry maggots roaring along to your position, in tanks, in helicopters, in jihad-jeep, with their knives out.
I only died once, but it was the single most glorious death ever.
I present to you today a story, one where I successfully managed to have consecutive mutiny and kick votes run against me for 4 hours straight, where I rode my teams superior skill to victory (and gold medal) every game, despite my own ignorance.
It begins on Daqing Oilfields: my friends just arrive at my house as I enter the server, and within seconds I've managed to teamkill 5 people using the incredibly weak and annoying M249 Saw. Punished every time, a kick vote begins, but the round ends before it comes to completion.
Dragon valley rolls along, and we start as chinese. Here's where the fun really begins: apply for commander position, then steal the PGZ-95 and drive northwest along the upper mountain ranges to the enemy carrier. Server runs a no base-rape rule (more implied than actually enforced) so I spend the next 15 minutes shooting everything that moves on the US carrier, placing arty on it and using the supplydrops and UAV's only for myself.
At this point, several angsty squad leaders chime in, threatening all manner of things, such as stabbing me in the neck, to assaulting my anal orifice, and humping my mum, sif I care. I give the headset to my friend, and then, then we hold down "v".
Surely you all have friends that just love to act like dicks when they perceive a lack of repercussions from their actions, right? Well, 3 friends + me + VOIP + a MP3/cellphone when it's after school = how it is. The stream of verbal abuse my 3 teenage friends spur down the VOIP to 9 active SL, aswell as playing moronic tracks like "Eye of the tiger" and giving constant commentary on the playing skills of people randomly selected from the team was just too much for some souls, apparently.
I get TK'd.. here I am, 28 kill 0 death, keeping the enemy jets and heli at bay, and the bastards tk me. ^.^ vengeance. I don't know what was worse, me flying in a helicopter as pilot, with friends still gibbering like idiots down the tube and terrible RnB playing as ambient tone, or me arty on my own airfield and cartillary on my own soldiers.
The first mutiny vote.. at this point, my true nature is revealed, and I begin to TK anyone and everyone I see, and because of my airborne nature I was invincible. Target hotspots with arty, only to mass 12-14 teamkills, kamikaze dives on friendly tanks where I bail at the last second, cartillary on our SAM sites, taking friendly armour and driving them off cliffs and then hopping in and out of them so that they don't blow up..
And the best part.. I had FUN!
Game over, victory for us, amazingly.. spawn as USMC... commander for me, jump into the Essex guns....
Spraying my own decks was the most fulfilling moment of that entire game.
The plethora of team-induced carnage was a spectacle, punishes flying at me with much fury, as fast as I could kill my teammates they would be back on their feet, shooting at me uselessly with their petty rifles.. cartillary on my own cobras as they tried desperately to fly away, M95 sniper the pilots and strays left on the decks.. it didnt take long, but in the end the carrier was mine. "BENIS YOU ****WIT **** LICKER! TAKE WHATEVER YOU WANT THEN **** OFF ALREADy!!!!!".. what did I do? I took nothing, I left them there, and drove one of the carriers boats to the artillary, where I proceeded to climb uselessly up the hill, as an M95 sniper.
I challenge you to guess how the rest of the game went :) I spent it in a linebacker, shooting down my own aircraft as they tried to get off the carrier. How we won that time, I'll never know. All my efforts, for naught! Winning by 40+ tickets was unacceptable! The next few rounds would be different, I swore..
New map: Fushe Pass.
I hate this map, make no mistake. Me hating a map + me as commander.. spells doom for my own team. Sadly, this time I had no easy ways to accomplish my higher objective, no essex guns, no hiding spots where I could lay claymores and snipe friendly pilots.. nothing. I was forced to be creative.. like rambo. Yea, I was ****ing rambo.
I knew that artillary on my own chinese airfield just wouldn't be sufficient after all I had done the round before. People were trying their hardest to TK me, and I had no tanks, no helicopter, nothing. So what did I do? Sabotage, I swore fealty to the masses, promising never to repeat the mistakes of the previous rounds, promising to be a good commander.
Not so.
Once my team had dispersed, I took our attack helicopter (after m95 the pilot and gunner, of course
) and promptly delivered it to the enemy team at their HQ. Rinse and repeat baby.. It didn't take long before our J-10s were sitting, neatly parked on the USMC runways, ready for the enemy to take them as their own.The next phase of my master plan had to be executed masterfully to ensure it's success.. spawn as engineer. Placing mines on all the friendly armour I could find at friendly spawns, one by one removing them as the enemy soldiers took the vehicles for their own, and then surrendering the flags in turn to my overlord masters of the american races. Then.. beating my own forces back with carefully placed volleys of artillary and cartillary to ensure that my men couldnt gain ANY ground.. giving supply drops to the enemy to keep them rolling forwards, to the crunch at that final moment, the last glorious battle.
I was sure of my victory.. but after having come back from making some 2 minute noodles and eating a packet of m&m's I found my team had miraculously fought it's way back to the half way point. We were winning.. in terms of tickets you're looking at about 120 - 110 here.
My mouth dropped.. THIS WAS NOT POSSIBLE! My team had foiled what I thought was a perfect plan; the enemy let me walk among their number as some godly figure, I was the ultimate, PERFECT traitor. In my absence the pathetic wretches I had fought SO HARD to help had crumbled under the weight of poorly manufactured Ak-47s and vastly outdated chinese replica russian helicopters.
I was so enraged, the entire server felt my wrath.. my jukebox (aka the cellphone) had died from low battery power, my friends had been nagging me to do it. I started playing normally.
Running like a bolt of lightning to the friendly z-10, i tked the pilot out of his seat then whisked myself away to the US hq.. 5 minutes of unabated manslaughter of any and ALL who came near.. friend or foe, whilst greedily using the supply boxes for my own gain, and using the UAV only to locate new targets had netted my team the victory.
75 tickets to 0.
My eyes were twitching the whole time the new map loaded. I had been boycotted, strung down, run over, my ego trampled. I had never felt such shame before. I had been betrayed.
It didnt end there.. I spawned on our Kubra MEC airfield. I knew what was coming. I didnt apply for commander, I didn't need to, I didnt even have to try.
It's one thing to have stabbed in the back like my fellow players had in the previous match.. but its another to have 31 angry maggots roaring along to your position, in tanks, in helicopters, in jihad-jeep, with their knives out.
I only died once, but it was the single most glorious death ever.
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