Doom: Annihilation

Look, I pretty much said all that needed to be said in the headline. There is indeed a new Doom movie coming. It's being put out by Universal 1440 Entertainment, a division of Universal Pictures Home Entertainment. It will be a direct-to-video release slated to hit this Fall.

For you youngsters at home, this is what a "video" refers to. While they may not be around all that much, saying something is "direct-to-video" means that it's probably too terrible for a theatrical release and is looking to make a quick buck by just coming out directly on Blu-ray or digital services. It's usually reserved for super low budget films that suck that can still manage to turn a (very) small profit, movies that are the 20th entry in a franchise, movies made to retain a licensing deal, or movies that are just flat out ripping off a bigger budget film. It seems as though the new film, Doom: Annihilation, is no exception to this.

A new trailer came out today for this sequel to the already horrible 2005 Doom film. If you liked that older Doom film, I'm going to tell you that you are wrong, your opinion is wrong, and you should feel bad for liking that movie.

Doom: Annihilation's plot is about as straightforward as a plot could be for a Doom movie. There is a team of space marines that have been sent in to investigate a distress signal that was sent from a Martian moon base. But oh no, it seems like that base has been overrun by demons. These creatures "threaten to create Hell on Earth." Ah... ha ha. I see what you did there! It's stupid, but I see it!

Doom: Annihilation is written and directed by Tony Giglio (S.W.A.T.: Under Siege) This movie stars such big names as Amy Manson, Louis Mandylor, Nina Bergman, and Hari Dhillon. The devs that are affiliated with the Doom games have already made it clear that they have nothing to do with this movie.

And if the trailer, seen below, still doesn't scream "this is going to be God awful" to you, then let me kindly provide you with a list of a few of the films that Universal 1440 Entertainment has released. These films include The Scorpion King: Book of Souls (2018), Benchwarmers 2: Breaking Balls (2019), The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption (2012), The Scorpion King 4: Quest for Power (2015), Kindergarten Cop 2 (2016), and Jarhead 3: The Siege (2016). See, they're kind of like real films, but... not.